.Tuesday, October 27, 2009 ' 7:04 PM
This article can be found at the last page of latest issue of Broader Perspectives. Do read everything!
"At a time like this, it felt inappropriate for me to write about giving up and of course the myriad other thoughts and considerations that come with it. What amazes me is how much time some of the brightest people in our country spend thinking about giving up.
While I am sure this is true of adults, I am not really talking about them. I am talking about the 18,000 students that read this magazine and the thousand little thoughts that occupy your mind and mine. Thoughts that we claim distract us from doing what we want to do. The alternatives we consider when the going gets really tough or when we fail. The new beliefs we form about ourselves in order not to face the reality of who we truly are. And although I know that adults do this too, in other shapes and forms about their marriages, work, and whatever other things they worry about, this time I am really not talking about them. I am talking about you.
I would love to sympathise. I went through the 'A' levels too and do not have pleasant memories. But it is precisely because the memories are so vivid that I also remember the contemptuous behaviour and attitude I had during that period of time. I remember the myriad lies that swamped my mind daily; anything that would distract me from what I knew I needed to do. Today, having learnt the things I have learnt about life and living, I am sorry but I do not want to sympathise. Because sympathising does not serve you.
The bottom line is that results do not lie. There may be slight variations in judgement here and there but in general, results are not far away from the truth. If I say that I love me wife, but the result is that she does not feel loved, then the truth is that I have not loved her. If I say, I have taught a wonderful class and done my duty as a tutor, but my students have not learnt, then the truth is I have not taught well. If you say you have tried your best to get the best grades possible, and you received results way below expextations, then I call your bluff and say that you are lying, that you did not try your best. Results simply do not lie. I know that as I make this claim there will be a thousand and one excuses, reasons, qualifications, and rebuttals that will fly my way in an attempt to help you avoid hard truths, to protect that heart of yours from seeing certain things about yourself that you just do not want to see. But I ask that maybe you take a second look.
The point is to take responsibility for the choices you have made so far and the results you have created. It does not serve you to think otherwise. Just imagine how contemptible I would be if I claimed that I loved my wife but she does not feel loved and instead of taking responsibility, I tell you that I am a left-brained man and I cannot show emotion, or that I came from a bad family, or that I am very busy, or that it is too difficult to demonstrate love, or that this is not what I expected of marriage... Imagine that. Imagine someone full of stories about why things are not the way they should be. How pathetic and loathsome would I be? And for how long would you have respect for me?
I am not saying that sitting for examinations is easy. But I am saying that you made a choice to do so. You made a choice. No one forced you; and I know it is easy to claim that you did not make this choice, that society, your parents or friends compelled you to make this choice... anybody and everybody but yourslef. But the truth is you did, and all I ask is that you take responsibility, for playing the victim will only mean yet another day with nothing done.
We play the victim in so many ways and nobody can deny that it feels good being a victim. Being a victim allows us to avoid taking responsibility. It allows us to feel sorry for ourselves. It allows us to garner sympathy from others; to suck others into our world so they can buy and partake of our version of the truth and perhaps commiserate with us. People are often complicit in supporting each others' lies. Birds of a feather flock together and you will find that people who want to avoid reality and avoid getting real results love each others' company. They love confirming that they are a victim and having another victim with them validates it even more.
But what is the bottom line? What can we really say about people who do not produce results? Please do not mistake me but thinking that I mean grades...No. I mean that we end up doing what we say we will do. Imean that we are people who honour our word, peopl of action who take responsibility for their results. And if failure strikes (which will from time to tim) we see it for what it is...information that helps us move forward. So the bottom line is to recognise that we can indeed feel tired, stressed, discouraged and unmotivated, but we can spend time coming up with stories to justify us staying in that contemptible place, or we can evaluate our situation and move on to creatinf something better.
The time is always now, to take a good hard look at ourselves and acknowledge what we have or have not done, what we still need to do. To dismiss thoughts of giving up and decide to act and live with integrity. To bite the bullet, lay hold of our life and do what only we can do. This message is for everybody, because if it did not ring true for you personally, it will ring true for someone you know. I pray that the clarity of what I say brings to you or your friend some good, hard and loving truth to your life. I wish you the very best for your coming examinations. Go create something wonderful" - Mr Tong Yee
Luke 14:28-30 "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will redicule him, saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'"
Haha quote after quote. Here shall be where I will end off with something that is mine: I have truly learnt much in barely 2 years - from everybody and everything situations went through and all the changes in my life... And I can confidently conclude, I will never regret choosing this route towards my awaiting destination. Pray that the same has been for you for it is not what is available but what you want to take from what is available. Look beyond and see the clear path just straight ahead!
PS: Dont forget to eat well - brain is made up of fats!
PPS: To geog buddies - It is NOT a map showing volcanic eruption, with lave flowing down river channels and some lava dam named ''A' Levels!!!'
